Fighting Poetry with Poetry

Your Catfish Friend

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."

Richard Brautigan





Lullaby


Lay your sleeping head, my love,
Human on my faithless arm;
Time and fevers burn away
Individual beauty from
Thoughtful children, and the grave
Proves the child ephemeral:
But in my arms till break of day
Let the living creature lie,
Mortal, guilty, but to me
The entirely beautiful.

W.H. Auden

Season's Greets from P-town

Oh, what?
yeah I'm in provo. Here's the weirdest part so far: it feels like I just left provo yesterday and yet a year and a half has definitely passed--I see it in people's weight and wrinkles, and babies that are toddlers and big crazy buildings that sprouted up over night. It makes me feel like Rip Van Winkle, if you can know what I mean. and it's a little unnerving.
good news: the mountains are constant.
and andrew has been away the whole time too, so at least we are sharing this wild dream together
Provo is lovely. my family is big and beautiful. the sky is so big now, without my boston trees. my hair dries fast:)
but I miss you Boston already. my shiny city and my crazy streets. my wilderness.
you've definitely snuck into my soul
and bothered my sense of home
I know we will be together again. I'm just not finished with you baby
Merry Christmas!! God lives and loves you. I love you.
erin

It is such a treat to have you back in my world
Hallelujah and every kind of praise

my Boston Down

well my days are numbered in this city of bean dreams and willa billas. on the 21st I will be back in provo to celebrate Christmas and Andrew's homecoming.

my plan is to hangout there for at least a semester before my last great semester of classes, which I will take at the University of the Philippines in Manila (Fall of next year).

Today is my first last day: my last Saturday here in this crazy eastern state

In honor of this boston count down, I thought I might offer a little listing over the next week of delights that Boston has given me, offered me, and thrust upon me. TY Boston. ur da best!

today's shoutout goes to:
*the way true Bostonians say my name ("Aaa-ren"--heavy on the "Aaa")
*the unexpected, but great, incentive to bust out my professional babysitting skills again (after a 10 year hiatus)
*the T (how I love the T!!!!!)
*funny things that squirrels do
* my charles

It's coming

One week peeps.

and our Elder Beck is back home. Kind of shocking. but soooooooooooooooooo great.

"They look so much dang like the same person, I say 'you want icecream?' both of them say 'yes'

'What in the heck?'

'They are tweens, that is why.'
'What the heck"

from a happy place

well, I am writing tonight from one of my happy places--the Kitterman home--where I am pulling an overnighter. Kids are asleep (FINALLY. it took no less than 8 picture books), cats are asleep-ish, the place is cleaned up. and it's just me and my jammies playing like I own the place. I've been thinking a lot about families lately. What makes them so great and what I would have to do to make mine even greater. blame it on all these family-themed movies that have been coming out: the Family Stone, Dan in Real Life, Little Miss Sunshine, Meet the Robinsons (just watched that one tonite with the kiddies, actually). The Grapes of Wrath, which did not just come out, but which I am still reading.
Our families are these mini-worlds. we make laws and patterns that don't necessarily reflect reality. I think of the world my mother created when I was little--where saying "shut-up" was next to murder & where there was some kind of second-wave depression going on so we had to wear our clothes until they wore out (regardless of fit or fashion) and use spatulas to eek out the last scrapings of peanut butter in the jar.
(sidenote: I still fight a wave of guilt any time I throw away a ziplock bag instead of cleaning it up and reusing it)
In my mom's world it wasn't weak or naive to be tenderhearted (which all of my siblings are)--something she taught us crying over stories she read to us from the Friend, and at the deaths of our pets.
I don't mean to disturb anyone, but I think families are more than that traditional kind. I think they are wherever we are at and with whomever we choose to be with. it just takes two people choosing to believe in the same thing--two people willing to play the game. I don't know, maybe for some people it only takes one. or one and some cats or something.
In my family I want a place that is open. sharing (most people who know me well know my sense of possession is kind of...blurry). A place with lots of food and people and music. I don't want anyone ever to be shushed. I want a little love-shack. like dancing with the girls earlier, until we were worn out and huffing on the floor. like people who aren't too scared to admit they need eachother
I know that kind of family requires those same things out of me. you know, I have to be the amerigo vespucci of that world. that new world. but I am willing to work on that
anyways, those are my thoughts tonite from my happy place. I love my family. let's face it, you don't make it that hard ;)
sweet dreams.
erin

Happy Birthday Mama Mia

I love you!!!