I just found an old mission friend on facebook. we were good friends on the mission and saw each other a few times afterwards. It's been a while since we've talked and now I see that he's married. I keep seeing these guys lately. that are married. that I thought about giving a chance to and didn't. friends I flirted with, that flirted with me. who knows if it would have worked out with them, but I still feel some regret. A little worry I may be screwing up all my chances.
I've been telling people I wasn't interested in getting married since I was a little girl. that's half of the truth. the other half is more complicated. It involves a whole bunch of weird relationships, crushes, wishes, narrow escapes. It involves wanting to give my brothers a brother-in-law to play video games with. wanting to even out this female heavy family. It involves wishing I could just make what I have work.
some days I feel pretty optimistic about the situation. I go charging out like I'm leading a battalion on my horse. I flirt. I tweak out dates. I garner referrals. But it never takes long before I'm charging back the other direction. retreat! get the heck out of there.
I used to tell myself I could marry the Charles river. he's very attractive. fun during the day, romantic at night. you know the type. I don't know though. I don't think he'd be the best brother in law. at family functions he'd stand off by himself. get the wii all wet.
2 comments:
Actually, you told me on a few occasions that you would be willing to get married, as long as the guy was willing to stay at home with the children and be your nanny and housekeeper. I do remember that you would be interested in a man who would grant, and encourage, your innate sense of independence, but also be a great kisser. tee hee, I am an elephant and I remember these things...
It is my (limited) experience that relationships never work when you need them to work - only when you want them to. So while I appreciate you looking out for the male portion of this family, you've got to focus on yourself first and foremost. Everything else will fall into place.
Post a Comment